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Wednesday 14 October 2009

Fear of the Unknown.

Recently I asked a Psychologist friend on Authonomy why I sabotage myself in my writing and my diet. She said that I'm scared of what will happen when I am successful in whatever endeavour I am dealing with.

Then on Webook this morning another friend said in her WTF -

"If you are not already living the life of your dreams . . . what's stopping you?

For most people, it's fear. People are afraid to do what they want to do because (a) it might piss someone off; (b) they might fall flat on their face; or (c) they don't feel empowered to make decisions for themselves.

If fear is holding you back, repeat after me, "Boats are safe in harbor, but that's not what boats are for." Then, dive into your dreams!"

So what am I scared of?

I thought hard about it, for most of my morning swim in fact, and decided that both of them were right. I'm scared of following my writing dreams because I'm scared of rejection - yet rejection is part of being a Writer. I've had a couple of short stories accepted for anthologies and e-zines but I am terrified of sending anything bigger out.

I don't know why I am scared of losing weight. I suspect that the reason is held a lot deeper than my writing fears and it will need to be addressed through counseling - thankfully I have an appointment on Friday so that should help.

Deep thoughts...